Turkey Beer Potato Pie

I'm actually really looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. I have alot to be thankful for, and I have food begging me to cook it in a delicious manner and consume much of it in celebration of some jerk thinking he discovered the 'new world'. I get to spend it with friends, cook the meal in my own home with people that will come with humor, delectibles, and a hand in the kitchen - the room I have the most fun in. Well, the second room...

Cooking a Thanksgiving meal is no small chore. Particuarly if you are cooking for even a third of who will actually eat a whole turkey. Still, if you like to go all out, you need to have al kinds of munchy things all day. There's the cheeses and meats, the crackers and spread, chips and dip, veggies, dumplings, deviled eggs, shrimp cocktail, whatever. All while cooking the turkey, potatos (sometimes both sweet and regular), stuffing (if stovetop), gravy, buscuits, and so on.

And of course there's drinking. That is unless you're pregnant, an alcoholic, or just plain annoying and everyone keeps trying to hide the booze from you. Yes, that would be you, Uncle Insert Name Here.

Someone had to say it.

I do enjoy cooking, but it really is alot of work. With all the advancements in technology these days, why hasnt someone invented something lazier already? An all-in-one meal of sorts. Most of us just get a plate and mix it all up anyway, right? Gravy splashed all over everything, mopping up veggie and flesh alike with pilsbury goodness... ohhh yeahhh...

Why not a turkey beer potato pie? Get the whole thing done in one shot. Smother the thing with gravy and call it a big warm bowl o' Thanks. Mmmmm! Hey, dont knock the idea - I know you've tried a hot pocket or two in your lifetime, and those things are a LIE. But this - I really wonder why no one has thought of this before.

NASA guys could be chillin' out on the space station with thier little turkey beer potato pie pills and chase it with a shot of gravy. Or some pumpkin cranberry flavored cool whip. Yeah! And while thier "comrades" are swallowing thier vokda vegemite sushki pellets with a spork, the rest will be reveling in Delicious Flavor Valley, partying it up with the Mayor of Tastytown.

I mean, regular chicken pot pies are sometimes pretty good, right? But a pie that can send you to tryptophan heaven, give you a good buzz, and have 'potato' or 'pie' even in the name - how is this a bad thing???

We could start doing this with tons of other things. Cheese ravioli spaghetti meatball lasagna. Chicken fried salsbury porkchop steak. Shrimp fried salmon sushi crab rice wontons! Or even green bean eggplant brussel sprout everything-else-I-friggin-hate macaroni cassarole.

We already have places serving horrible things mushed into "one". Pizza Hut had the I-cant-make-lasagne pizza, KFC had the chicken cheese vomit bowl, and Mc Donalds has the Mc Rib. And listen, if there are folks that delightfully consume the Mc Rib - something I am convinced is made of edible plastic polymers with pickles and sauce - then why not Turkey Beer Potato Pie?

This year, I endevor to try making a turkey beer potato pie with my leftovers to perfected by next year. If I am successful, I naturally plan to top this accomplishment with a cranberry pumpkin stuffing cream jello green bean buscuit, of course.

I dont want anyone left out.